i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
