It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
