sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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