My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
