I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
