At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
