Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
