Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize