I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
