anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
