I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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