oh god the rape fog is back!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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