you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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