ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
