Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You may now shotgun with the bride
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
