i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Still dying that you shit outside
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
