god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
