went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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