I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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