i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
