I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
