I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
