So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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