I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
