So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
