Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
