good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.