I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.