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that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
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