omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
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This is the high leading the old right now
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
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He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw