He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
