I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
