Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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