i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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