Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
