is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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