No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
