Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
