Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
