Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
