I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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