My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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