I just saw a hot homeless man
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
