Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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