They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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