just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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