he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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