i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
