Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
