dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
