It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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