Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
