Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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