never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize