today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
