dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
