Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize