your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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