I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
