It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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